On the surface this could seem like a pretty dangerous resolution. Could it be at best, upsetting to other people to say what we think and at worst, career limiting?

Definitely – if done in the wrong way but with the right approach it could be the path to a happier and more contented time at work. Stress is one of the major causes of workplace dissatisfaction. One of the key causes of stress is keeping things under wraps, not saying what we think and feel and ‘bottling things up’. Sooner or later if this ‘bottling up’ occurs, then an explosion may happen which could have far more serious consequences.

So how do we go about developing our behavioural intelligence so we behave by intent and not by default, saying what we feel or think and ensuring a positive win/win outcome?

The two golden rules are very simple. Firstly, ensure that you are objective. Feelings by their very nature can be pretty subjective so check you have objective evidence to support your thoughts. Take care too that the comments relate to behaviour and actions which are observable and can be changed.

Secondly, ensure courage and consideration are evenly balanced as you communicate your thoughts and feelings. Individuals who have an abundance of courage and not enough consideration can come across as being aggressive. People who are the opposite may be seen as submissive and ignored. Aim for a balance – giving rights to others that you award to yourself.